why cant i feel love? - letsdiskuss
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Varun Paatni

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why cant i feel love?


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There could be many reasons for not feeling the sensations of love even when you want to. Sometimes love elude us despite our willingness and this creates legitimate problems for us. A paradoxical mental and emotional conditions are created inside of us which can even make us irritable and frustrated. 

Reasons can include a bad love relationship which you might have had in your past. It leaves you disillusioned with the concept of love and makes a permanent place in your sub-conscious mind. Since it is in sub-conscious and not in conscious mind, you'd want to feel, get, and return love again, but there would also be a fear in your heart and mind which would keep restricting you all the time from making the right moves.  


Another reason could be your ego, self-respect, and self-love. Some people are so filled with these feelings that they just can't see anyone else before themselves (and love demands putting someone else before yourself). Even if they are able to feel love, they wouldn't be able to return it with the same intensity which would result in problems, conflicts, and clashes. The bitter experience would also work further in closing the doors of your heart for love. 

One more reason could be "freedom". Many philosophers and writers have equated love with the sense of freedom, but unfortunately that's not how most of us see it. Love for the most of us means enslaving possessiveness, boundations, and restrictions. Some of us however, are free birds and would rather choose to be alone and free than to get into any kind of relationship that restricts us in any way. 

These are some reasons which I could think of based on my own personal experience. It's possible that different people have different reasons for not feeling it. Today's meme culture which glorifies singledom for youth is playing very well on their psychology, making them disillusioned with love and making them see love as something of a problem. 


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You might not be feeling love because you have been taught to embrace the idea of love, not love. And this idea eludes you now.

You must be tired of the relationships that demand gifts, Valentine ’s Day, anniversary celebrations, and always being in each other’s touch. But love in not bound by these formal rituals. Love is the name of letting go and that might be very difficult for you or your partner.

Letting go does not mean to leave someone entirely, but to keep the feeling for them intact even when they are miles away from you. If you are ready for this kind of freedom, you are ready to feel love.

Love above all, demands acceptance. If you keep wanting to change the habits of your partner according to your wishes, you can’t call it love, and would never be able to feel it, even if they change according to you.


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