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What are the tips to become a good parent ?

As an experience mother I am elaborating the way of nurturing your child when they are young.

Vasanthi Gopalan

@ I am a Graduate of 1980s, SEO, Retired teacher. blogger. | Posted 13 Jun, 2018 | Others

Posted By: Vasanthi Gopalan (Posted 11 Jun, 2018)

What are the tips to become a good parent ?

Mothers should be like Yashoda maiyya, who was pamparing as well as punishing kanha. But Vasudevji, kanha's father was more lenient and had soft corner for kanha than Yashoda maiyya. When Yashoda tied Kanha with wooden mortar for the mischievous act he had done, Vasudevji always freed him and asked him to ran away. This is the best method for bringing up a child. If father is going soft on their child or pampering their child, the mother should take stick in her hand and mend their child.

When I was a kid my grandma's favorite dialogue, when we demand some ice candy or any simple things was, if only your grandpa alive you children would know the consequences of your behavior. Really ? She should be alive to see these 21st century kids. As far I remember up to 1980s children even infants were treated like something god gave to the parents, to control and show their power . There was fixed time for the children to everything. From getting up to going to bed and from playtime to study time.

Earlier the son or daughter had to obey whatever their parents say . NO arguments were allowed. Parents will tell them what to wear and what to eat and where to go, not only this, even they will select friends for you. In spite of all these military like life in those days, children were very happy. And the main thing is mentally they were strong and was great fighters in real life.

I am not here to start talking about "Those were the golden days" type of stuff. But to explain that parenting is not a competitive sport, it is more of rope walking. Nowadays parents understand the meaning of parenting wrongly. The main reason may be because of them having single child and as they are working parents and carrier oriented, they don't have time, which is the only thing the child need . As the cost of living is keep on increasing and education expenses and competition is growing in a pace of rocket, there is no other option in the hands of women than to go for a job and earn extra money for the betterment of their child.

But they should understand that their main object and purpose is rearing and shaping their child into a good human being in all respects. Their child should be mentally strong, intelligent, smart, decision making and adjustable to all kinds of surroundings. For that they have to spend time with their child. From telling stories to playing games -even playing online games with them- to watching movies of their age like Marvel movies or Harry Potter movies , they should act and play the role of their best friend. 21st century children need friends only and not the pricking parents.

The child should have a solid support system at home to encounter the villains in the outside world. For that you should have a healthy arguments with them. If you want to say no for their unnecessary demand , explain them the reason for your denial. This practice not only help them in present time, but they will learn how to say 'no' to unwanted commitments in the future. Having the courage to say no will solve so many problems for everyone.

Most of the parents think that praising the child whatever they do will boost the child's morale, self-esteem, confidence and in turn will bring good results. Those days are gone and this argument is also out of fashion now. You have the gut to criticize your child when their work is not up to the mark. Now latest research shows that praising the child for the undeserved creation will destroy their love of learning and their ability to face the consequences in case of failure.

Don't succumb to their every demand instead train them to earn whatever they want as a reward. For example if they want chocolate or any small day to day joys extra , ask them to help you a little in your small household chores. It may be to fill the bottle in the fridge or arrange the dinner table or dusting the furniture. This is not a bribe. Make them feel proud as they earned this. If they got good marks or passed in any extracurricular activities, give them a big treat or gift.

Don't punish them when they make mistakes. No one is perfect. And as a kid , like you and me they will learn from their mistakes only. Even if they lost or broke some expensive items don't create scene of it. On the other hand don't under play it. Make them realize that of course there was a loss, but it is alright as it was his/her first mistake.

Make them spend more time with their grandparents than with their gadgets. This will improve the life of both the child and grandparents.