How to tell your friends you’re not OK when they ask how you are ?

There is nothing more frustrating than when you are having a rough time and your friends ask how you are, only to hear that everything is great. These people just don’t understand. If you're struggling with anything in life, it can be tough to talk about it with close friends because sometimes we all feel like we have to put on an act of happiness for the sake of others. But it's OK to not be OK.

I have found that the best way to deal with this is by telling a friend you trust about your feelings and how you are really feeling inside. That might be tough for people who aren't comfortable talking about their feelings, but if you're able to talk to someone about it, you'll feel much better. Your friend will understand what you're going through and won’t judge you. And there may come a time when having these discussions becomes easier and maybe even fun too!

Start small

If it's harder for you to talk about these things in person, try writing down a few paragraphs that express how you really feel about yourself and what is stressing you out. Try writing a letter, or just a few sentences on your phone. When trying this make sure to write down everything that's bothering you, don't hold back!

Make sure it’s private

Always make sure you are alone when you are reading over what you wrote and when deciding who to give the letter to. Give your letter to someone you trust with your life and feel comfortable enough around them that when they read it they won't laugh at anything or say something that is going to hurt your feelings. I have sent letters like this before but never received a response because I wasn't 100% certain that the person would be able to handle such a sensitive personal message.

When in doubt, just toss it

Sometimes, even after talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling inside, you may still have that little voice in your head saying that they’re going to judge you. But when they do react like that and make fun of your letter or laughing at what you said, it's only validating all the negative thoughts and feelings that are floating around in your head. It's much better to cut the matter off right there rather than trigger negative thoughts about yourself or having doubts about who your friend actually is.