My teenage children back answer so much that it makes me cry How do I handle that? - letsdiskuss
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Nikki Adderley

@letsuser | Posted on | others

My teenage children back answer so much that it makes me cry How do I handle that?


Educator/ Work from home Search Engine Evaluator. | Posted on

Child rearing is a beautiful art that every parent should learn. It is a process of supporting the child emotionally, physically, socially and intellectually from infant to adulthood. Parenting is a complexity of raising the child apart from biological relationships.

So if your child is not listening to you or misbehaving with you, don't panic or feel low. First of all differentiate whether the child is doing back answer or verbal abuse. Out of frustration and helplessness children sometimes back answer. But it is not a big issue, as long as there are no verbal abuse or curses in their language.

When you say no for anything the children desire to have, they want to explain the importance or goodness of the thing to you. That is why they back answer. They are answering you repeatedly to get yes from you. But if you give away and break the rule first time itself, it will keep on arising every time you deny something.

Parents sometimes take the backtalk personally and want to show their superiority to their child. This is very wrong attitude. Don't allow ego to come in between your relationships.

To shut down the back answer, after the things were normal sit down with your child and make some ground rules. Explain to them their financial and social limits. How much freedom they have, how long they can stay out, how much is their pocket money, when they have to return to home and so on. And clearly clarify them that once the limit are set there will be no chance of violation and arguments.

Another way to tackle arguments and backtalk is to fix a particular time for explanations for certain decisions taken by you. Before the time you can pile up and submit your side of arguments to them and make them understand your point of view.

But in my experience I can surely say that these back answer and arguments are teenage and adolescent problems only. This will go away like passing clouds once your children become mature and lay their steps in adulthood.