What are some tactics Indian political parties follow to form a coalition government?

Recently, we’re seeing resort politics making a prominent space in India these days. Want to save your candidate from cheating on you? Spend crores and crores and lock them up in a luxury resort. In fact, if rumors are to be believed, Deve Gowda, the leader of JD(S), is planning to take its 37 winning candidates to an abroad vacation. Sri Lanka and Malaysia are the top choices.

This is quite ironic and paints a heinous picture of Indian political system. How easily can ministers change their allegiance to the different party if you show them some money! And what’s worrying is that we aren’t even discussing this—about how candidates are bought and sold so publicly.

But then again, who really have the time for that. We’ve got important Hindu Muslim topics to talk about. And not to forget, we’ve got Nehru to blame for everything. Oh, meanwhile, keep an eye on Mr. Bilap Kumar Deb. With his masterstroke statements pouring on us from everywhere, another genius one might be in the line. He can blame Nehru for Congress and JD(S) possible alliance in Karnataka. He can call BJP’s Rs 100 crore bid to buy JD(S) MLAs as constitutional and those opposing the deal as anti-nationals.

Actually, if look closely, throwing such sensible (read: jackassery) comments is a tactic in itself. With all eyes on how BJP can really form a government in Karnataka without flexing its money power and involving in horse trading, wait for some other irrelevant topics to take away your attention. The stooge media houses are already attempting to bring Kashmir, Pakistan and Hindu Muslim topics in the headlines. And under the idiot commandants like Bilap Deb, Meenakshi Lekhi, Radha Mohan Singh, Vijay Rupani, and Narendra Modi, this is much easier for them to do.

Oh, wait, almost forgot their chief- Subramanian Swamy.  

Wait for it now—how another topic sweeps your attention away from the dirty money politics in Karnataka. This is a great tactic Indian political parties have been following as of late, successfully, to not just form coalition governments unethically, but also to hide murders, poverty, and unemployment. And much like every time, we wouldn’t care. If anything, we’d dive into silly memes and gave the current serious situation in the Indian political system a good laugh. And then move on.

Deploying Godi media is another tactic that has done wonders in recent times. People are jobless, people are poor, they aren’t getting their pension, they are a victim of police—but what you do in your primetime? Dedicate one whole hour to talk about Rahul Gandhi going to watch a movie. Keep an eye around—see how the headlines on newspapers and news channels change in few days from today. You would be surprised how dexterously they can turn from talking about Karnataka politics to Hindu Muslim topics. In fact, if you want to see some of the smartest humans, turn on your news channels. Amid their shrill noise and blame-games, you will find their ingenuity. No kidding.

Also, this is just the beginning. The tactics you will see in the runner-up to 2019 general election, and after that when parties with form alliances, you would wish you weren’t alive. I am already wishing that!