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I was always interested in the question of why people act in a certain way. You see a person do something weird, or you find yourself responding in a manner that is uncharacteristic of you, and you ask yourself where exactly he got that. Is it what your parents taught you? Is it a product of something you had done in the past? Or is it in you, as a result of thousands of years of evolution?
All of that is a combination of behavior of human. It is biological, partly psychological, partly a matter of culture, and partly a personal account. Once you get into the psychology of human behavior, you find levels that you never thought would be there. One pattern is very logical, and some others are almost humiliations as they reveal how much we are still directed by the old instincts of our forefathers today.
It is in this area that evolutionary psychology, natural selection in the human being, and all those books about human behavior are all making sense. They state the reasons behind our habit making, the reasons behind jealousy, the reasons behind gossiping, the reasons behind seeking status and the reasons behind fear conquering so fast.
We are going to traverse the complex, disordered and weirdly beautiful world of human behavior.
What Shapes Human Behavior?
Behavior of human is not something individual. It is a complete ecosystem of forces where they intermingle each minute. It is all broken down to four principal influences.
1. Biology: The primordial plan within us
If we like it or not, it is still present in our brain, even today, and has been long before the invention of smartphones and traffic jams, in the form of old instructions. These policies were determined by the forces of natural selection in human beings, in which characteristics that enhanced survival were inherited.
The instincts we are yet to bear:
- The desire to defend the loved ones.
- The need for social approval
- The fear of being excluded
- The instinct to avoid danger
- The propensity to make comparisons with others.
These aren't weaknesses. They are remnants of the world our forefathers used to inhabit.
2. Environment and upbringing
We were educated in so many ways without even knowing about it based on the tone our parents spoke and even regulations at school. Childhood is the prism in which we will respond as adults.
For example:
- Children who grow in an environment of conflict usually become quick-tempered in defense.
- Children that were nurtured through encouragement take more risks and are optimistic.
- Patterns of avoidance or over-attachment in the later life may be formed because of emotional negligence.
Our default responses are molded by the environment rather than we would like them to be.
3. Culture and society
Each culture educates differently concerning concepts of success, gender roles, emotions, communication and morality. These social rules have an effect on:
- How we express anger
- How we approach love
- How we view money
- What we think is "normal"
When you have ever taken a trip to a new country and felt that everyone acts in a totally different way, then that is culture at work.
4. Personal experiences
Divorces, losses, failures, and successes would accompany us. Trauma can shape behavior of human. So can kindness. Just one discussion at the right time can transform a life of a person.
This is why two individuals who might be having similar backgrounds might act in totally different ways.
Evolution still Matters, Why it still influences Human Behavior
This is why the examples of evolutionary psychology seem so weirdly true. These aren't just theories. They are designs that we see every day.
Some examples describing how ancient instinct still presents itself can be found below.
1. Fear spreads fast
When someone within a group becomes frightened, other people become panicked. This assisted the primitive human beings to avoid predators. Nowadays, people also reflect fear:
- One individual is running, and the crowd is running.
- One news is spread, and the people accept it at the first instance.
- A single bad headline attracts more attention as compared to ten good headlines.
To be more dangerous is how our brains are constructed.
2. Status still matters
The high status at that time was equated to superior access to food, mates, and protection. Today it shows up in:
- People chasing luxury goods
- Social media obsessions.
- Competitive working conditions.
We no longer need it to survive but the instinct discharges.
3. We prefer familiar faces
Our minds believe in what they know. This will lessen the threat of handling threats. It's why:
- You get at home with people who are similar to your friends when you are a child.
- You go back to the restaurant or brand you were in.
- The importance of first impressions.
Familiarity feels safe.
4. We gossip without thinking
At times people believe gossip to be poisonous. Surviving on gossip was the work of early man. It disseminated valuable details concerning:
- Who could be trusted
- Who was dangerous
- Who contributed to the group
Nowadays it appears in the form of informal conversation in the office or gossip about celebrities, yet the urge is the same.
Psychology of Human Behavior: How the Mind Works
After you have the evolution, then you must have the mind. Human psychology is a maze of emotions, motivations, beliefs and biases.
These are the major driving forces of our daily behavior of human.
Feelings: The puppeteers of the invisible.
Feminine feelings are strong since they surmount reason. Consider the last occasion when you were angry. Did you regret something you have just said? Probably. This is because emotion is quicker than reason.
There are certain typical patterns of emotions:
- Fear triggers avoidance
- Joy triggers bonding
- Anger causes confrontation.
- Grief causes one to withdraw.
- Love triggers protection
What goes on in your head is faster than your response.
Motivation: The reason why we pursue some things
Every action of humanity is fueled by motivation. Psychologists say we chase:
- Safety
- Comfort
- Approval
- Identity
- Achievement
- Freedom
- Pleasure
- Meaning
All the things we do fall in one of these categories even the minor ones.
Cognitive biases: Mental falsehoods
Your brain loves shortcuts. Now and then you are fooled by those shortcuts.
The most frequent prejudices:
- Confirmation bias: You see what is proving you your way.
- The availability bias: You think what you can best recall.
- Achoring: It is the initial information that you hear and it affects what follows.
- Halo effect: You think good looking or successful individuals are good in everything.
- Assumption: You imagine that people think in the same fashion as you.
Such prejudices are the determinants of choice much more than a logic is.
Social behavior: The reason we copy, connect, and depend on people
Humans survived in groups. The instinct did not fade away.
We imitate fashions, reflective feelings and respond to our social behavior of human. This is why:
- Laughter spreads easily
- Individuals are followers of fashion patterns.
- Social rejection is worse than anticipated.
- We treat various individuals differently.
At the bottom of it we are social creatures.
The Real-Life Evolutionary Psychology Exempla
You required examples, these are some of the relatable ones.
1. The reason why humans go on a frenzy during emergencies
Shortage equated to death among our primitive humans. The empty shelves trigger the switch of the instinct in modern people. Panic-buying begins.
2. The reasons behind quarrelling among couples whenever there is a stressful situation
Stress to the brain is perceived as danger. The fight-or-flight is provoked by stress. The partners are turned into enemies even when they are not.
3. Why jealousy exists
The mates were safeguarded and resources were guaranteed in the past by jealousy. It continues to be triggered in the present day to preserve emotional attachments.
4. Why people feel embarrassed
Humiliation is an indicator that you violated small social norms. It assists in creating peace in groups.
5. Why storytelling feels magical
The survival lessons were primarily passed on through stories. They are designed in a way our brain is programmed to react to emotionally.
What I learned in Human Behavior Books
You probably picked up human behavior books and they can give you a different point of view in people. They render the world a less bewildered place.
Some of the things you return to time and again:
1. Human beings desire to be understood and not be right.
This is the reason behind myriads of arguments and relationship problems.
2. Behavior is meaningful even in cases where it appears illogical.
Avoidance, overreacting, being silent, being enthusiastic, there is always a story behind it.
3. We do not evaluate ourselves on what we intend to do but rather judge others.
That is the reason why disputes swell up so fast.
4. History influences the present, and we are not necessarily aware of it.
Most of the habits that we have in adulthood are childhood memories that we hardly recall.
5. Majority of individuals are fearful rather than ambitious.
Introduction to fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of uncertainty.
People are not explained in these books just as such. They explain you to yourself.
Why We Act the Way We do in Public and Private.
You may have observed that individuals have two versions of themselves.
Private self
- Raw
- Honest
- Emotional
- Vulnerable
- Unfiltered
Public self
- Polished
- Controlled
- Socially acceptable
- Careful
- Strategic
This isn't hypocrisy. It's survival. Nature taught us to defend our position in the group. So we manage how others see us.
This is why people:
- is a proud man, not a rogue out of doors.
- appear to be stunned and conceal tension.
- smile, though they are not happy.
We act without even noticing it.
The Wars within Us: Instinct vs. Logic.
It is through this internal struggle that some of the most interesting behavior of humans are formed.
Instinct:
Fast, rebels, primordial, survivalist.
Logic:
Learned by experience, slow, rational.
Everything that instinct dictates is to run when the mind dictates to think.
Some examples:
- You are aware that you will not die of public speaking but your instinct evokes fear.
- You know that a breakup does not mean your death and your instinct is that it is a menace.
- You are aware of the innocence of social rejection, but your instinct is hurt.
This tug-of-war influences even relationships as well as choices of career.
The reason why people find change difficult
Man is a habitual animal. Our forefathers existed in conditions where change was a threat. The most secure course of action was to rely on what has been proven to be effective.
This is why:
- Individuals remain in jobs that they do not like.
- Relationships remain even when broken.
- New habits are hard to build
- Old habits are hard to break
Comfort zones are the favorite of your brain. It sees change as risk.
The increase in Awareness and Behavior
As soon as you come to know how human beings behave, you begin to see things:
- You perceive the latent meaning of reactions.
- You are more tolerant of other people.
- You give up blaming yourself because of the emotions that are beyond your control.
- You communicate better
- You come up with better relationships.
The initial step of the transformation is self-awareness.
Here's what helps:
1. Observing your patterns
Why do you respond in that manner?
2. Understanding your triggers
Clues, rather than enemies, are triggers.
3. Learning emotional regulation
Interrupted breathing, stops, cogitations are all good.
4. Reading psychology of human behavior
Reading and reading materials broaden your vision.
Concluding Remarks: The Lovely Complicacy of Human Beings
Human actions are disorganized, disorienting, and disorderly and sometimes conflicting. Yet that is what makes us interesting. Each emotion has history. Each reaction has roots. Each instinct has purpose.
When you know behavior of human inside and out:
- Relationships feel easier
- Conflicts feel lighter
- Decisions feel clearer
- Life feels less random
We are not only responding to the present. We are bringing centuries of survival instinct and decades of individual experience and layers of cultural meaning.